Check out The Mom's Cheat Sheet to Creating a Cake Masterpiece
by Bird Bird's Party at Mode
Image above left from CoolMomPicks.com
Cute Cake Ideas for Upcoming Parties
Image above left from CoolMomPicks.com
Christmas Cookies, Anyone?
If you decide to make these, let me know how they turn out!
Making Thanksgiving YOUR Way
I decided a few years ago to actually enjoy the holidays - in whatever way holds meaning for me. That means that I will do a certain amount of running around and cooking and shopping. But when I'm done, I'm DONE. I want absolutely nothing to do with the soul-sucking compulsion to run non-stop. In fact, this year I'm not even the one hosting my family's Thanksgiving meal. How did I manage that?! Anyway, I'll take it. I'm sure I will more than make up for it at Christmas time.
But for those of you who are still looking for some Thanksgiving meal inspiration, check out these sassy soul food dishes from Mommy Week. Enjoy!
Check out Everything You Need for a Soul Food Thanksgiving
by Mommy Week {Ashley} at Mode
Family Pre-Halloween DIY Preps
Is anyone else getting ready for Halloween? We are! Besides the fact that Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, I also enjoy the weather and creativity that inspire me this time of year. I'm thinking of making my son's costume by hand this time around, so I was happy to see this video showing us how to make a monster costume out of a hoodie.
Looks like fun! What do you think? Are you getting into the Halloween spirit this year? Tell me how!
Looks like fun! What do you think? Are you getting into the Halloween spirit this year? Tell me how!
Keeping Your Cat Busy When You're Not Around
Many people think cats don't need much play and interaction. Those people are WRONG. If you're a fan of the popular Animal Planet show "My Cat From Hell", you know that lack of stimulation is behind many cases of frustration and misplaced aggression. Once those owners start to ensure a certain amount of play for their animals, the issues usually improve.
So, let's switch gears to talk about a furry member of our family who doesn't get mentioned as much as everyone else here on my blog. I'm talking about our cat, Irving. He's had a great time with us this summer. And since he needs a lot of play and stimulation, we've tried to include him in as many activities as possible. But with fall on the horizon, things will change. Kids will be going back to school, and parents will be focusing more on work. So here are some of the products we've either been using or plan to purchase to keep the kitty active when we're not around.
Check out Toys to Keep Your Cat Busy This Fall
by EricaThompsonBriggs at Mode
What do you think? Does your family pet have favorite toys?
My Favorite Websites for Artsy Back-to-School Clothes for Boys
As a mom who works full-time, I have no shame whatsoever about the fact that over 75% of my family’s back to school shopping this year will be done online. I actually feel very comfortable about it. Afterall, why run around chasing the latest local sales just to find a picked-over selection when I can order from almost anywhere and get the sizes and colors I (I mean, my son) will want?
The secret to doing this successfully takes planning and organization, though. I sign up for emails from the places we like best and I keep a Gmail folder of notifications about sales. In all honesty, I’ve been doing back to school shopping throughout the summer. I know my son’s measurements so it usually works out very well. But of course I will still need to pick up more things as we close in on the start of school.
The only issue is my son’s tastes which, like mine, run a little edgy and interesting. As a blossoming artist he loves all things graphic. Some of our favorite online shopping destinations fit him to a tee (pun intended). In addition, they won’t break the bank – especially if you’re taking advantage of coupon codes and sales. If you’ve got a kid who doesn’t mind standing out just a little these might work for you (but feel free to supplement these with mainstream staples!):
Little Boy Chic
Little Dudes Only
Crazy 8
Tea Collection
Appaman
And the ever-popular Mini Boden. Sure, it’s always a mom’s favorite but it also has some interesting finds.
Also, don’t neglect to check into Threadless for graphic tees for kids. Great sales and one-of-a-kind designs.
I’m telling you, I’ve gotten nearly everything done as far as clothes shopping for now – just from honing in on what we can use from a few websites. Again, you can absolutely do this too if you so desire. Here are some tips:
1) Know your child’s measurements and sizes in different items of clothing.
2) Focus on a handful of favorite websites so you don’t get overwhelmed.
3) Keep track of when sales begin or end. Sure there’s always another sale around the corner but it’s helpful to know which ones work with your own deadlines – such as the start of school.
4) Feel free to focus mostly on the clothing your child will need at the beginning of school but remember to pick up items you’ll need later in the year, such as warm clothing, when you see great deals.
So let’s talk about where I plan to do the other 25% of our back-to-school clothing shopping. This is where I will hit the stores and (ugh) malls for things that my little one will need to try on such as shoes. I’m a stickler about shoes that fit well. Some of my favorite brands for my kid’s feet are Merrell, Skechers, Teva, and similar makers. These fit his artistic style and last for a long time. If anyone has any ideas about how to make this even easier please let me know in comments below!
See some of our favorite from around the web below.
<blockquote id="mode-widget" lang="en"><p>Check out <a href="http://www.mode.com/stories/shop-edgy-back-to-school-clothes-for-boys-from-your-laptop/9741598">Shop Edgy Back-to-School Clothes for Boys from Your Laptop</a></p><p> by <a href="http://www.mode.com/profiles/ericathompsonbriggs/2827144">EricaThompsonBriggs</a> at <a href="http://www.mode.com/">Mode</a></p></blockquote><script type="text/javascript" language="JavaScript" src="http://www8.glam.com/js/widgets/glam_coll.act?afid=1670016609;colid=6571683:Collection:9741598;authorid=6571683:Yuser:2827144;userid=6571683:Yuser:2827144;es=2;"></script>
Pie, Oh My!
So in celebration of Pi Day on March 14 I would like to introduce you to my Down Home Dirty Dozen - the 12 pies that I will be trying out in the next year, courtesy of my new board on Foodie.com. Many of the pies included are inspired by my childhood in the deep South and by modern interpretations of old favorites. Take a look and let me know what you think! The delicious post is sponsored by Foodie, but as always all opinions are strictly my own.
What We Did This Summer - In Pictures
This Summer I took a break. Not just from blogging but from just about everything except "the basics". I decided a while back I didn't want my 6-year-old to only know me as a blur - going from point A to point B as fast as I can so that I can get a head start on getting to C. I've lived so much of my life that way and I've paid my dues. So I made sure that, as much as possible, we managed to spend some quality time as a family unit this summer. We didn't roam far, but we did roam. It was NOT easy. But it was so worth it.
The Zoo
The Mall
July 4th
Summer Camp
The Baseball Game
The Dentist
The Bike Shop (Proteus Bicycles in MD)
The Park
The Park II
Rita's Italian Ice. We're regulars.
Irving - Did I neglect to mention our new family memeber?
We had a GREAT time.
Giving Back By Inspiring Others To Be Themselves
On this site we talk about all kinds of inspiration. But today I want to discuss being inspired to give back in your own way. Michelle Obama may not ever know who I am or what I do, but she has inspired me to do what I do in my own way. As the First Lady of the United States of America, Mrs. Obama does many things differently from the First Ladies before her. She chooses her own causes. Her push for healthier eating and physical fitness has inspired people around the country to make changes in their lives. She has her own style of dressing and expressing herself, and both are extremely effective. She doesn't hide the fact that he is intelligent and powerful in her own right, despite the fact that there are some people who don't believe she fits the mold of previous First Ladies. But, I find her inspiring for exactly this reason. Being different, has made her even more important to people around the globe. Because of Michelle Obama I'm inspired to give back, even though not everyone will "get" what I'm giving. What's more, sometimes we give different things on different days. On some days I can blog about deep issues, but on other days I'm posting an outfit picture taken in the bathroom. That's just how it is.
We have all been given chances - whether large or small - join a team, contribute to a project, or create something new - and I think it's important to look at those things for what they are: opportunities to express ourselves in our unique ways. If you are in the midst of doing great things, I believe you are doing what you are doing right now because you are who you are. That's because I believe the same is true for me. I could have done it another way, but then what would be the point of that? What am I really contributing if I'm doing something in exactly the same way it has always been done. I'm not here to be a copy of other people, and neither are you. To me, it's more proof that it's OK that no one before you has ever done it the way you have. And it's thrilling to blaze your own trail. As long as you're getting it done, then do YOU.
This is what I tell the young people I mentor in my field. Whether we are working on writing or networking or some other learned skill, I try to first teach them master the rules. But I also teach them to go above and beyond, which requires being inspired and being willing to think outside of the box. So it's never my aim to tear them, down but show them how to use their unique attributes, energy and personalities to achieve their goals. This is the way that I give back and thanks to the First Lady's shining example, I will continue doing it my way.
Because a great mentor can make all the difference, Coca-Cola has teamed up with Magic Johnson, Common and Debra Lee of BET Networks to give four young people the apprenticeship experience of a lifetime. Visit MCR.com/PayItForward to nominate an aspiring youth and help pay it forward to the next generation. You'll also be automatically entered for a chance to win $5,000 for each nomination you make (up to five nominations per person).
Disclosure: Compensation was provided by Coca-Cola via Glam Media. The opinions expressed herein are all mine and are not indicative of the opinions or positions of Coca-Cola.
Happy New Year!
Birthday Roundup: We're Six!
As usual, birthday celebrations for the little one were broken down into having cake with mom and dad on the actual day and then a small get-together the following weekend.
Most importantly, though, my "baby" is now SIX!
Angry Birds Cupcakes made by me
Birthday table in the breakfast nook
Sonic the Hedgehog cake. Designed by me, made by Safeway
Hitting the bowling alley
Most importantly, though, my "baby" is now SIX!
Angry Birds Cupcakes made by me
Birthday table in the breakfast nook
Sonic the Hedgehog cake. Designed by me, made by Safeway
Hitting the bowling alley
Bumbo Recall
What Are You Doing About Sunscreen?
Despite what you've heard, African-Americans can indeed develop skin cancer. VERY dark skin can have a natural SPF of about 13. (Don't be fooled, most of us do not have SPF 13 skin.) But dermatologists say you need an SPF of at least 15 to be protected. They recommend wearing sunscreen daily. But if you're going to spend any significant time outdoors, it's important to not only slather on sunscreen before you leave the house, but also to reapply it after a couple of hours.
So what should you look for when you're ready to buy a sunscreen? First of all, not all sunscreens are created equal. In fact, some barely live up to the name. But here's one thing all the experts agree on - an effective sunscreen must protect against both UVA and UVB rays. That's because while UVB rays get most of the blame for sunburn, both kinds of rays contribute to skin cancer.
I won't lie, we had to go through quite a few tubes of sunscreen before we found ones that didn't mess with our skin - we're all considered "sensitive" in my household - or make us look like the white shadow. Much could be written about the challenge of finding an effective sunscreen for non-pale skin.
Our personal experience is that anyone with sensitive skin should avoid most sunscreens with the ingredients avobenzone or oxybenzone. I wore a sunscreen with these ingredients during a trip to the zoo on Father's Day and I'm still scratching. If you're a Sensitive Sally like me, don't do it. Unfortunately avobenzone and oxybenzone are in most of the broad-spectrum sunscreens found in your neighborhood drugstores. They are damned difficult to avoid unless you're willing to hunt around or purchase your sunscreens online. That's why I'm doing the leg work for you.
Now if you're going to avoid chemical suncreen ingredients like we do, that leaves you with natural/mineral sunscreens. Natural suncreen contains zinc oxide or titanium dioxide (or both), which used to leave a slight white cast to the skin. But now many companies have discovered ways to get those particles very small - not nano sized, but- small enough to wipe-out or dramatically cut down on the ghastly tinge. For now we like and use:
Jason Mineral Based Sun Block SPF 30+
All Terrain KidSport SPF30 Oxybenzone-Free Natural Sunscreen
Trukid Sunny Days SPF 30+ Natural Sunscreen
Aubrey Organics SPF 15 Saving Face
You can find more options on the EWG list and on similar sites on the internet.
But now it's your turn. Please sound off. What is YOUR experience with sun exposure and suncreen? Or lack of??
Life's Luscious Little Luxuries
It's true that the best things in life are free. But sometimes it's the little things that can keep you encouraged and on the right track. I'm not the only one who thinks so. We've all heard that stopping for a cup of coffee at your favorite java bar EVERY DAY can be a drain on your wallet, especially if you're struggling to save. But every now and then, leaving the coffee-making up to someone else could be just what you need to save time and experience a morning treat. Again, I said a treat. Without making a habit of it, this is something small that can feel like a tiny luxury. Or if you get up early enough, brew your own and be that much more fabulous and on-the-ball. Here's something that costs little to nothing but can change the entire course of your day: Having lunch or a walk in the park. This is truly one of those things that makes the most of a work break. In this day and time, spending a few minutes among the trees and breathing fresh(er) air is very much a luxury. I recommend doing it as often as possible. When you take the time to think about life's little luxuries, you might realize that some of them go all the back to childhood. This is the case for me when it comes to cool cotton sheets. There's just nothing like them at this time of year. Satin and all those other trendy fabrics just won't cut it. But the good news is that you don't have to spend a mint or buy those whatever-hundred-count sheets to get the same effect. Simple cotton sheets costing just a few dollars at your local discount store can have the same effect. I know it for a fact. What about you? What are your little luxuries?
Disclosure: Compensation was provided by Fifth Third Bank via Glam Media. The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not indicative of the opinions or positions of Fifth Third Bank.
Priceless Style for Families
We talk a lot about ways families can save money. But I know of at least four that things are actually worth a splurge. Take a look at my list and let me know what you think. Please feel free to add on!
Handbags - As a mom, I just don't have time for the problems that come with cheap handbags. I need something sturdy, reliable, organized and nice-looking too. In my humble opinion, a well-made handbag can change your life!
Functional Shoes - I'm not talking about those overpriced sky-high stilettos everyone seems to be obsessed with at the moment. I mean shoes that go beyond trendy with a timeless style and comfortable design. I cannot tell you how much it simplifies your life to have a great-looking pair of shoes (ones that are actually made for human feet!) that you can grab at a moment's notice.
A Great Haircut - Yet another sanity-saver is a good haircut or protective style. Knowing that your hair only needs minimal styling when it's time to be presentable is a huge plus for busy moms and dads. Kids, too!
Quality Bath Products - These are some of my favorite products to talk about when it comes to splurges, but they aren't always expensive. We just forget to take the time to look for items that are moisturizing-instead-of-drying, or that include ingredients we can pronounce. Getting the right products for your skin and hair can actually save you money and time in correcting the issues caused by inferior products.
How about you? Where do you splurge?
Disclosure: Compensation was provided by Fifth Third Bank via Glam Media. The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not indicative of the opinions or positions of Fifth Third Bank.
Real Ways to Save Real Money
I don't know about you, but I feel inundated with tips and strategies for saving money. These little tidbits are all over the news and in the papers. But I find that not all of them are practical for those of us with families. Here are just four really big ways we actually do save money in our household:
1) Buy less stuff. No, really. This sounds simple, but it isn't - especially when you think you're saving money by buying low-quality staples. Looking only at the price of an item can have you making more trips to the store, burning more gas and spending more cash. Which brings me to my second tip.
2) Buy quality stuff and make sure you're getting what you think you're getting. We found this out first with paper towels. My husband would hit the discount store and come back with a trunk full of goodies, including a huge bulk size package of paper towels. Well one day we ran out of the cheapies, so I stopped at the grocery store on the way home and bought a large single roll of a well-known brand. Days later we noticed that the roll had not been changed, whereas we had to change the rolls of the cheapo paper towels almost daily. Once we looked at how much we were paying for the so-called bulk rolls, we realized we actually got many more sheets for our money when buying the regular brand.
3) Stick to healthier foods, cut back the processed and snack-type foods. Not only is this better for the health of your family, it's better for your fiscal health too. How do I know? Take a look at the prices of foods on the snack aisle. The prices are VERY inflated for what you get, especially since these are exactly the foods that leave you hungry a short time later.
4) Shop off the beaten path. The first lightbulb went off when a local news report showed that the stores with the highest prices and worst customer service were actually the chain stores that everyone knew and "trusted". It turns out people were actually getting more bang for their buck by shopping at co-ops, farmers markets, and stores that were wrongly considered high-end. Deals are where you find them. Being locked into shopping at just one place is a great way to waste cash.
Disclosure: Compensation was provided by Fifth Third Bank via Glam Media. The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not indicative of the opinions or positions of Fifth Third Bank.
The Homework Trap
We left the suburbs for an old town (with revolutionary war roots) that had a historic black section of town. We valued the concept of integrated schools that our children could attend. I recall talking with a neighbor who pointed to the little yellow buses on the street. “There won’t be many black kids by the time they’re in high school,” he said, the implication being that large numbers of young people would be classified and then shipped off to alternative schools. My daughter did not become a small yellow bus kid. For my youngest son, it was a different story. From the start, he gave every indication of being a star. Personable and funny, bright and motivated, we got rave reviews from his first grade teacher, awed that psychologists could raise a happy kid. Then, second grade came, and things started to change.
Our son, for all his brightness, wit, and goodness of heart, could hardly manage the pencil in his hand. His handwriting was so bad, it hurt his hand to write, and he could not produce many legible words. Homework was impossible. How could we help him when the assignments he wrote down from the blackboard were impossible to read? From that point on¸ we fell into a homework trap. Year after year, we were constantly warned that, if he did not do his work, he’d have trouble later on. Prophetic in a way, it became clear that the homework system was the cause of his problem. We were not against homework, and certainly never against the school, but the prospect of banking our child’s future on schoolwork sent home seemed to us to be grossly wrong.
As I said, I’m a psychologist so I did what psychologists do and began to seek comparisons between what I saw in my life, and what my patients said. Through that process, it became clear that we were not the only parents of a homework-trapped child, and that there were consistent patterns in what was going wrong. Children got homework trapped, not because they were lazy or bad, but because they could not work at a reasonable pace. If they worked slowly when they were in school (often because their handwriting was so bad), they had a teacher watching what they did and recognizing that they wanted to do well. Even more importantly, they had a school bell that was going to ring and let them go home at the end of the day. At home, they were faced with assignments that had to be done, even if it meant it consumed the whole night. Frankly, I consider it borderline child abuse to engage in battles and make a young person work hours on end, just to make sure some worksheets get done.
So here’s my proposal: 1. Time bound homework. Just like school starts and stops by the clock, define homework as a fixed period of time. See what the child can do in a reasonable amount of time and work with that child on using the time well.
2. Reduced penalties. Zeros factored in at twenty-five percent of the grade is too harsh of a penalty to alter behavior. Lesser consequences will prove more effective in both mobilizing the child and allowing the parent to approach the issue calmly.
3. Respect lines of authority. Teachers are in charge of their classrooms. Parents should tread lightly on telling them what to do. Parents are the people in charge of their homes. Teachers should not tell parents how to organize their homes. In the end, when decisions are to be made about behaviors in the home (i.e. homework), the parents need to be the ones with the final say.
I remember in our early conversations with some of our African American friends that there was widespread concern about special education. On the one hand, no parent wants to deprive his child of the education he needs if a learning disability truly exists. On the other hand, we heard of great concerns that special education was being overused with children of color. As white folks, it took us time to understand what was really being said. Our daughter could have gone down a special education track, simply because, in first grade, she failed a simple five question test. And our son eventually went the child study team route, largely because we as parents lost the right to employ our judgment and make the decisions we thought were right. I’ve written The Homework Trap: How to Save the Sanity of Parents, Students and Teachers partly to share what I have learned as a parent of a homework-trapped child, and partly to give parents the tool I did not have to advocate for my child. But above all, I want parents to have a basis to take charge of their homes.
Dr. Kenneth Goldberg is a clinical psychologist with 35 years of professional experience in dealing with many different psychological issues. He is the author of The Homework Trap: How to Save the Sanity of Parents, Students and Teachers and currently works in his own private practice. A member of the American Psychological Association, Dr. Goldberg has been a featured expert in top media outlets including The Los Angeles Daily News and The Washington Post. For more information, please visit www.thehomeworktrap.com.
Being Elmo: A Puppeteer's Journey
I hope all of you had a wonderful Easter. While my family was home for the holiday, we watched a very eye-opening documentary about world-famous puppeteer Kevin Clash, called "Being Elmo: A Puppeteer's Journey." You may already know Clash as the voice behind Sesame Street's Elmo and other popular children's characters. But you probably don't know that he has been putting on puppet shows since growing up in Baltimore, MD, or how he came to work for the most influential people in the industry. Interesting stuff that supports the idea that when we're focused on our goals we end up where we are supposed to be. I definitely recommend watching this on television or on DVD when you get a chance. The trailer is below.
Top left picture from Wikipedia.
We Are All Trayvon Martin
Ask any mother of a Black male about her thoughts about the Trayvon Martin case in Florida and she will tell you, it is a nightmare. As the story goes, the 17-year-old was walking back home after buying an iced tea for himself and Skittles for his little brother when he was stalked and gunned down by a self-appointed neighborhood guardian for no apparent reason. Then his shooter was barely questioned by police and walked away without a whiff of a formal investigation. A month later, he is walking around a free man while a mother's teenage child is in the ground.
My sweet little boy is just 5-years-old and the thought that someone could perceive him as a danger simply because of his color is maddening. To hear some people blame the deadly shooting on the hoodie Trayvon was wearing makes it even worse. It makes you want to pack up and leave. Wherever you are. To find a place with less racism or fewer guns or a more educated population. But when you can't do that - and you want to do SOMETHING - you do what many people have been doing this week on Facebook and on other social media platforms. You post a picture of yourself and even celebrities wearing hoodies, as Trayvon was when he was snatched away from this world. One of my favorite pictures posted is this one, showing boxing legend Muhammad Ali in a hoodie.
At the end of the day this isn't just a mother's nightmare, it's a national nightmare. Let me know your thoughts.
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